DERELICTION (ReFix)

Click to read Dereliction Original

Twas no fault of yours.

I was the one that stuck 'round him... 'I'm a wife material' i proclaimed, hence i continued cleaning his windows and floors.

Absorbing the slaps and the punches, 'do this for the love and the kids'... words i echoed in my heart in a bid to 'stay', Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko on steady replay.

Each jab to my head left vibrations and echoes, raised voices and fast pulses... 'spite of all these, i still wanted to stay.

So if there was anyone who was derelict it was me.

I neglected my duties to myself, i failed to stand up for me.

I hid under the cowardly saying that love was blind.

This and many more handcuffed me and put me in a bind.

I learnt the hard way that love should have a sixth sense that tingles like those of spidey when something is wrong.

Or rather when my esteem is reduced to nothing and my worth trampled upon.

I learnt that waiting for him to get better is doom.

Or better still... dumb.

Coz sunday evenings always compared to world war 2, and when night descended ...he ripped me and my panties off.

This is beauty and a beast... No this is not a disney spinoff.

A few times he comes to his senses, "baby lemme just put the cap in, rub your clit like a dirty DJ... baby lemme spin all".

I sink and i remember my dreams of a flowing white dress, getting wedded in a mighty hall.

This has been replaced by nightmares of a black gown and chains... someone just put me on a ship heading to America... lemme just thread the part of our afro-american forefathers once and for all.

There's no difference.

White swan or black... this shouldn't be tailor
made for anyone.

Sometimes i wished i told someone.

Sometimes i wished i jumped out before it all went south.

Lips battered, blood oozing from my mouth.

I wish i could have stopped listening to his vanilla tasting words.

A word is 'nuff for the wise, i guess i wasn't... i guess then that i too have a hand in his vice.

So don't place it upon yourself for my own doings.

My daily wails should have been enough to pull my strings.

Till he broke me before i came to my senses without touching myself under my loins.

Twas then i flipped the coin.

Put an end to my own dereliction.

So weep not for me, for i have already shed many a tear. .