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Monday, 9 July 2018

My Flawa

The day we parted ways.

Wow! I remember it clearly, the day I loosed it, the day I broke the unwritten law, the day I became a woman by the order of sexuality, I grew not to regret it, it took a lot not to be spiteful about, I just laugh it off, surprisingly it had become a story worth sharing even if it is for the laughs. If the wise look thoroughly, however, there are some lessons in it, as subtle as they may seem; they are quite palpable depending on how you choose to read it.

Dressed modestly but yet overly, in my green dress, I saved kobo to thousands of naira to buy that dress, I had to get a loan from my aunt to foot the part payment, after which I worked all through summer to pay the remaining payment and the loan to my aunt. The gown meant that much to me, it was worn by Onyeka Onwenu in one of her appearances in the elite gatherings, it cost me a whopping #10,000 - such amount is used for a whole wardrobe recycle if it were left to my mom. She was who I worked for at her supermarket to save for the gown, it was too much a cost for her, she will rather I work for it, that way, it would satisfy her conscience.

My aunt was the first to note my Dress, I wore it once to a wedding ceremony, I have ever since kept it back in its box for another dear occasion, she inquired where I was going that deserved my very cherished dress, I responded in no particular manner, leaving her mind to wander, she gave up pestering me but was sure whatever I am going for was dear to me. Seated in the living room was the entire family, all lauding my outfit, my dress stirred suspicion but my light makeup and humble hairdo threw everyone off balance, I guess they alluded that my dress is now in the casual category and seeing me wear it from frequently will need not to surprise them. My father who is a photographer took a picture of me as he remarked my beauty endlessly! "My Ada is growing fast," he said with gusto; too grown only if he knew. 😈😈I bade them goodbye, confirmed the nod of agreements and left.

I journeyed 90mins, got to his house at 1pm, I checked my dress every time in the car to make sure I was ok, I mocked my family's lack of intelligence, it surprised me that they think I am going for a noble course, I was going to do what they mustn't know, for a minute back in the house, it felt like they were giving consent especially when my mother said I should be very careful. Getting to the gate of my friend Aminu, fear wrapped me up, my heart began to race,
"Hey, Adamma, it is about to happen," I said it like I was sure it was a danger and I cannot help it. All it required was just to tell the cab to return me to my pickup location, my guts went ahead but my heart cowered.

Aminu came out of the gate after my call to pay for the cab fare, he hugged me warmly, I felt like a prey until he said he had missed me, that somehow did the magic, I mustered one mumu confidence after hearing that! Aminu is a guy I met during my internship at his father's company, he befriended me and we became close afterward. We never dated but we liked each other, he was the first guy I visited his home, he was the heir to a multi-national construction but he personally runs a media company as he claimed that to be his passion.

I was not sure if I loved Aminu to want to give myself up to him but we had talked too much, his words have explored some part of me that is gunning to have him UNDO me. It was not my first time visiting, as a matter of emphasis; I had become a known face in his house, the gigantic ten rooms mansion with maid and caretakers flooding functionally in its compound and within. They will all smile at me with a professional cheer like it Aminu had them on default settings, Aminu and I have tried about five times to eat the forbidden fruit but it did not work out, I suspected the reason to be my unpreparedness from home, somehow, I just stop halfway for some dumb reasons, none of my reason had anything to do with unwillingness. On this very day; I told myself to prepare my mind from home and get the thing over with. It is ironic that the night before I 'opened my self up' - my mother had a long conversation with me about how it dignifying to be pure for one's husband; it will kill her to know that all the time she was talking; I was thinking of Aminu's northern penis, the picture of it have been literally in my lense. Pure deception my mother will feel if she reads this.

I got comfortable as usual with Aminu, we don't sit in the public eye anymore, we walked straight to his room amidst awkward greetings from the maids, I met with his mom on the staircase, she was warm as ever, she lived in Enugu a while, she greets and converse with me in Igbo, she is a lively woman who you will always see with a half-filled glass of scotch - her liveliness made me comfortable from the first day of visit, I doubt Aminu will share the same feeling if he visited my folks, my father cannot stand the sight of a northerner because of the impression an event registered in his mind during the Kano tribal riots in the early 2,000s, he has been paranoid when it comes to matter that has to do with the northerners. That a northerner dis-flowered his "dear Ada" will leave him lifeless. All these I knew but I was still on Aminu's matter. The picture of Aminu especially its provocativeness at that time surpassed all factors.