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Friday, 31 March 2017

Continue; by Shoogah!




When will all this come along?
Am I in the right? Or am I in the wrong?

The contact flames while lighting up the grass..
Big screen, big shots, Wrapped in a cracked glass..

Move with the flow, stem, stop and Mow..
Scattered quadrants, your squad is slow..

..........

Sex Facts Chronicles 4

• It’s illegal in Florida to have sex in any position other than Missionary. Though that’s still lawful, it’s illegal to kiss a woman’s breasts while engaging in heterosexual sex in the Missionary position.

•The antechinus, a type of Australian rodent, has sex for about twenty-four hours, after which most males die of exhaustion. The clitoris extends 9cm under the skin.

• Make-up is meant to simulate what a woman’s face looks like mid-orgasm. Reddish or dark pink lipstick mimics the way lips will engorge with blood. Blush mimics flushed skin. Eyeliner and darker eyeshadow will make the eyes appear half closed, hence the term “bedroom eyes”.

Sex facts chronicles 3

1
For those who are wondering if their grandparents and great-grandparents still have sexual intercourse, the overwhelming answer is yes. Approximately one third of women in their 80’s continue to have sex with their husband or boyfriend, so long as they are both in good enough physical health to do so.

 2
Humans are not the only ones interested in performing oral sex, wolves, bears and bats are also known to participate in the practice quite often.

 3
While many know that chocolate can be an excellent arousal for having sex, apparently the smell of pumpkin can help increase the blood flow to the penis to encourage an erection.

The Hot Teacher 2


Part 2

I felt his weight hit me and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the painful impact of my back hitting the metal cabinet. None came and I gently opened my eyes. I was wrapped in his arms very tightly and he looked down at me in a strange mixture of tenderness and lust.
I almost drowned in the pool of his eyes and totally forgot myself. "Come here.." he gently whispered. Oh my Goodness. He stared at me ferally.."I'm going to be your first." And with those words, he proceeded to undress me.

Thursday, 30 March 2017

PLEASE DON'T READ!



Seems tonight i'd be swimming in Chardonnay mixed with some classic tunes from sade.
Shut down my thoughts, so no one can access my windows.
Close curtains so i can be alone with my thoughts.

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Sex Facts Chronicles 2

1. One in ten European babies is conceived in an IKEA bed.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ google IKEA, i don't know the mening tooπŸ˜€

2. Alfred Kinsey, author of Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948), had a collection of 5 million wasps and could insert a toothbrush into his penis, bristle-end first.😭

3. British spies stopped using semen as invisible ink because it began to smell if it wasn’t fresh.😬😬😬😬😬

4. A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops. Computer sperm osheeeeey!✌

Sex Facts Chronicles 1

This sex facts are definitely going to astound, make you cough and catch you unawares!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1. Cleopatra is credited with the invention of the vibrator. She is said to have taken insects and placed them inside a hollow sphere. The insects would become agitated and begin buzzing around, causing the sphere to vibrate. #gbayii

2. The clitoris extends 9cm under the skin.

3. French bulldogs cannot reproduce naturally because they are too top heavy. Every French bulldog puppy is born of artificial insemination. #obesity can kill

4. Amazon River Dolphins are the only species of animal recorded to have engaged in nasal sex. Ewwwwww. Sex up the nose?!😯

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

The bastard 1

Lanre

I grabbed the breasts and squeezed. Damn!! This girl is smoking hot. She barely made a sound and I confirmed my earlier theory. The boobs are fake. I felt anger fill me and I squeezed harder; the silicone should just burst out. That'd be epic, I swear.
She gave off a low and obviously fake moan. Alright. I grinned in my mind. Let the moan become real. It's obvious the breast can't do nothing to her. I pulled her suddenly and her face slammed to my chest. She groaned a "hmmmph" and I grinned. Serves her fake boob right.

I gently flicked her chin up and bent my head, then captured her lips and gave her the most satisfying and panty scorching kiss of her life. Fuck. Her lips are soft and oh so chewable. I nipped them and gently released her. The moan that escaped this time was real.

Monday, 27 March 2017

The Step Mom 2


Part 2

I looked on in shock. Fucking hell. I'm never a violent person.. I dragged his arm and pulled him to a corner; away from Simeon's ear shot.. "who the bloody fuck are you to judge me??! I met your father after i left london!" Jeez. What a cluster fuck my life has become.

He held his cheek and his face suddenly crumpled. He fell to his knees "But I love you! I loved you.. and you left me!.. I had to come back when I saw your pictures! I can't believe the only love of my entire life left me. Just like that. I want you back! And I'm going to have you, come what may!" He said vehemently and stood up, suddenly crowding my personal space.

The Step Mom


Lydia

I felt intense happiness fill me..."Yes! Yes! Id marry you!" I screamed. Everyone at the restaurant looked at our table in curiosity, but I couldn't contain my excitement. I'm incredibly happy.

I continued to bounce on the chair like a kid and Simeon just looked on- albeit with a little smile framing his manly lips. We continued discussing and deliberating over the next turn our lives would take.

TRILOGIES


Girl it's  me, you and the crackpot.
Light one, bless the brain... and never ever see the world same.
Let the high kick in, till you feel your legs lame.

And oh yeah! it might f*ck with your head alil', but it ain't the worst game.
Girl it's me, you and the jackpot.
When i hit it big, you gon' be balling all season.
In clubs more grand than Madrid or Barca.
Where the bottles keep passing from hand to hand... tiki-taka.

Sunday, 26 March 2017

The mechanic 2


Toba

I'm currently sinking down into the best lips I've ever tasted in my life. This kiss was just meant to make her shut up. This is fast becoming an habit.
I kissed her and ate up her lips. Delicious. A shocking pain cut off my concentration. Fuck. I pulled away from her. She bit my lips!

Saturday, 25 March 2017

Things you should never use as lube

Lube is an amazing thing when you're facing a dry situation down there (it happens) or just want to get extra wet and wild. So it's natural that you'd want to DIY when you run out of the stuff and sex is on the table.

But experts say you might want to think twice before putting any old lube substitute up there. Even seemingly harmless slippery substances can contain allergens, deteriorate your skin, or interfere with  condoms, says Maureen Whelihan, M.D., an ob-gyn at the Center for Sexual Health and Education.

The mechanic


Ngozi

I'm literally having the worst day of my life! I can't believe that my day that started so smoothly and without qualm is going sour so fast. I just got divorced from husband 2 and on a stupid whim- which I thought was superb earlier on, I decided to take a month's rest from work and all the stress I've been through.

My friend and I then paid for a one month vacation of spa rest and relaxation program at a very popular retreat. We split the bills and decided to meet each other at the place; we couldn't come together.

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

NO TITLE V


Let my mind be an open book so you can peruse.
If you claim to love me, and you can't see through me... then it's of what use?
Bore a hole in my heart like a mole.
Reclaim what darkness took, what it stole.
Dissect me into bits.
Feel what i felt.

NO TITLE IV


I once thought I was still in love with you.
But it's become evident that i was only infatuated with what we used to be.
That I became blinded to what we have actually become.
More distant than second cousins living at the different ends of the globe.
It's funny that i focused on this rather
the other... stagnant lights of strobe.

The Rendezvous 2


Part 2

Dare

I felt my dick getting swallowed up by the wettest cunt I've ever fucked. Jeez. Is this why she didn't allow me fuck her before? Fuuuuuck.. I've been having reservations about this marriage before; but fuck I have no issue anymore! We can fucking get married!
I began to get worried that 2 days to my wedding I can't find the attraction anymore between I and my wife to-be. It's just fizzled out, dead. We hardly even fuck anymore; but then, I got this huge surprise from her.

The rendezvous 1

The Unplanned Rendezvous.
Laura

I wandered the tarmac, suffering a heat stroke. I slowly located and moved toward the luggage point. I looked around and fanned myself with the magazine I'd been reading in the plane. The heat slammed into me and I could feel sweat drip between my legs. The garter I wore stuck to my thighs uncomfortably and I wished I could pull it off. The heat from this tropical Island is insane.

Monday, 20 March 2017

The Hot teacher


Nuel

I strolled into the courtyard of my high school. I'm trying to take a short cut to the gym and relax for a bit. Working out calms me down. I feel inordinately stressed.
The hustle and bustle hit me and I scoffed at the immaturity emanating from this losers. Well, I need to go and train. When I passed, some set of girls tittered in excitement and I felt disgust hit me. Idiots. These people don't know me; they just see the perfect exterior and huge body.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

15 facts that would make penises jealous

Photo credit: Image bazaar/Getty Images.

This cracqd me up yh!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

It's like a beefπŸ–πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1. First things first, vaginas can have whole human babies come out of them:

Obviously we all know that, but it bears constant repeating. Seriously: respect. What can you do, penis? #birthcanal; babies come out of them.πŸ‘ͺ

2. The vagina can stretch to THREE TIMES its original size—in girth—to accomplish this unmatched feat:

Saturday, 18 March 2017

Is porn Realistic? 5 things they do that's not as it seems

By now, you've probably realized that a hot-and-horny delivery girl isn't going to show up at your doorstep every time you dial Domino's. But that doesn't mean you’re exempt from the sexual lies porn tells.

“Most people think porn is a reflection of what's actually happening in the bedroom—like, this is just showing people doing what they do,” says Ana Bridges, Ph.D., a University of Arkansas psychologist who studies the effects of pornography on romantic relationships.

But the truth is, porn pushes the sexual envelope to satisfy our easily bored brains—which means some weird stuff may make its way onto your screen.

“It could potentially expand your repertoire,” says Bridges, “but it could also narrow it.”

Translation: If you think everybody is doing what you see, you may fixate on those few acts as the definition of “good sex”—and end up limiting yourself in the sack.

1. DOUBLE PENETRATION.
In a recent analysis of best-selling pornography, Bridges determined that nearly one in five scenes featured double penetration. Yet in a soon-to-be-released study, a research team including Bridges found that only 3 percent of men and 1 percent of women have actually tried this two-penis act.

The sex experience you should have at least in a lifetime!

You should experience this sexual situation (s) at least once in your lifetime; you'd definitely remember them.. And it'd be a way to spice up your sex life.✌

1. Your wedding night sex: Even if you'd had it before, you can recreate the feelings inspired and experience it once more.

Friday, 17 March 2017

Different types of dicks (part 2)

6. A Hooded Dick🌰

This guy has so much freaking foreskin that it’s all a lot to handle. The hardest thing about uncircumcised dicks is that most guys in 9ja are cut; so the odds are that most of the dicks you’ll play with in your lifetime are going to be cut.

Every guy likes something different done to his thing, but you might feel weird when faced with an uncircumcised dick, like "I don’t really know what to do with it. Am I supposed to play with the skin? Do I pull it all the way back?"🍑

Thursday, 16 March 2017

NO TITLE 3


If you and I are the only people left in this world, would i still disgust you.
You said you trust only a few, but since it's you and I...would you then trust
me?

The dirtiest revenge 3


Part 3

Adetutu
My heart puttered hard in my chest. I drove down the streets and looked at the card in my hand. Then I spotted the house. Wow. Beautiful. I felt envy and jealousy run down my spine.

I regretted ever dumping tade. This could have been my life and he could have been the one by my side right now. He's hot and sexy self. He makes me feel disgusted at wale touching me. Last night, I slept in the guest room and had mad dreams of tade. I couldn't even fathom wale touching me. The thought makes me wanna retch.

7 kinds of boobs that exist!


If you always thought there were only two kinds of boobs—big or small—your mind is about to be blown. According to bra company ThirdLove, women have one of seven different sets of boobs.😁😁

While ALL types of boobs are perfectly normal and beautifully imperfect, knowing your boob shape can help you get the best bra fit.

1. Asymmetric: One breast is larger than the other; ranges from minor (barely noticeable) to more pronounced (as pictured).

Look best in: Bras with removable pads, so you can wear a pad (or two) on the smaller side to even out your look.

Different types of dick that exist..(part 1)

1. The BatπŸ†

This dick is so big, TOO big, even for people who love a nice big dick. A bat dick is fat and moderately to extremely long, and when faced with the reality of this dick you either feel joy or a sense of impending doom, like “Oh god what am I doing.”
Your guy probably either feels really confident about his bat dick or he’s really self-conscious about it..and public boners are a real source of  anxiety/embarrassment for him.
Most importantly, guys with bat dicks need to know what to do with them.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

SHAPES


I see the beauty of the world, and it's highlighted by the shape of you.
Supermodels ain't got nothing on you. 

Your kinda curves who's got it?,
I could fit them all in one hand while i try to name a few.

Fine as wine and stronger than a beers' brew.
I'd still see its perfection, even after i've climbed stairs on some grey goose.

How do you F*ck when High?

We all crave this high; I mean, the dope as fuck ones when we wanna fuck. From a researchers point of view, let's see the actual effects of this drugs on fuckingπŸ˜‚, kindly read.. Before you go han fuck something while "high"✌

The dirtiest revenge 2

Tade

Lolade epitomizes beauty and sexiness. I succintly wooed her and bidded my time; although I knew she's hot to trot with me. I deliberately delayed fucking her, I need her complete trust and subservience.

I'm plotting the perfect way to get to her mother and I'm still working it out. I'm going to make sure I turn her world upside down. As it stands now, our marriage was never nullified on any grounds; Adetutu is still married to me, means that lolade is my step daughter. A hot daughter I can't wait to fuck. But I'd make her hunger for me first.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Sex slangs et meanings 2

Beaver: A slang for vagina

Bedarche
A person in Native American culture who is both masculine and feminine. Also known as two-spirited.

craziest sex position (part 2)

SPORK:


If you like the Spoon position, you'll love the Spork. Instead of you both lying on your sides, you’ll stay flat on your back while your guy positions his body at a 90-degree angle in between your legs. He gets to take the reins on this one, and he’ll be rewarded with an awesome view of your body—especially your face, which will pretty much say, "This feels so good.” Plus, your hands are free to explore your other erogenous zones.

Monday, 13 March 2017

Do you think you're DemiSexual?

What is demisexuality?

Not everyone is into casual sex: some people prefer to have an emotional connection with someone before a physical one. Those who identify as demisexual, however, explain that they need to feel a strong emotional connection with someone in order to feel sexual attraction to them at all. It's part of their sexual orientations.

The craziest sex positions ever (part 1)

Let’s face it: You’ve made it through missionary and you’ve done it doggy style, like, a bazillion times alreadyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Enough! Your sex life is begging for some πŸ—πŸ•πŸ– So instead of resorting to your go-to moves tonight, whip out one of these almost unbelievable (and slightly unconventional) sex positions for an orgasm you've never, ever, experienced before.. (Ahem)😁



BUTTER CHURNER:

Fair warning: Your neck may get a cramp, but for a great orgasm, it's worth the risk. Plus, this position lets him penetrate even deeper for an awesome sensation. Just tell him to go easy on the thrusts to avoid too much pressure on your upper body.

The Dirtiest Revenge 1


Tade

Finally! I'm back. I parked my car and looked outside the windows.. I saw her; looking extremely beautiful- It's like 20 years had not passed. She smiled gleefully and happily, totally oblivious to my watching her. Her curves. Fuck it. Her slightly curvy hips is fully grown now..Wide and shapely. Her waist is just set. Her curly hair bounced- that had always been my weakness. Her shiny teeth made my knees go weak.
She should be 38 years old now. I saw her last when we were 18 years old. She's the drive and burn of everything that I am today. I felt my heart clench at the sight. I love her so bloody much. She's my weakness.

Adetutu was my high school sweetheart. I love her with everything burning in me. We got married at 17years secretly and it was the most joyous day of my life till now. We snuck to Ibadan city and got married at a popular court.
I know she never told anybody about it. The fucking bitch.

NO TITLE 2


I'd sing to the birds, till butterflies in your tummy chorus my song.
For you i'd wrestle, even if am not a man so strong.
You never do no wrong...but in order not to place you on a pedestal of perfection, maybe you do on occasion.

But it doesn't taint or disvalue you.
For you are not weighed down by
indiscretions, and neither would i weigh you by them.
You and I are like love in the movies.

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Sex_slangs et meaning

Blue Balls:

A term used to describe an uncomfortable feeling in the testicles when sexual excitement does not lead to ejaculation. In actuality, both males and females can experience this uncomfortable feeling as a result of sexual pressure that builds up but is not released.
It is usually described as a full feeling or an uncomfortable ache that occurs in the genitals. For males, this occurs in the testicles (balls) and for females this occurs in the lower pelvic region. There is no damage as a result of pressure that is not released, and “blue balls” is never an excuse to keep going if someone wants to stop sexual behavior.

Why are porn movies called blue film?

There are many different theories about why they are called "Blue" films, but no one is really certain about why they are called blue. 

  • One theory is that the term came to be in use from the fact that in the 1980's, pornographic content in video cassettes was sealed using a blue tape.
  • Another theory suggests that it started with the blue bars across the faces of the actors or actresses to obscure their identities. And since striptease acts might have used blue spotlights, this might also have been the origin of the blue in blue film.

Friday, 10 March 2017

What happened?



library
*****
I rushed into the 3rd aisle to find the books i need for my thesis. I need this text book! I tried downloading it online; but I was asked to pay for it. With money I don't even have. I'm trying my best to manage the salary I just received from my job. After paying my rent and buying books, i barely have anything left. I'm looking for a night job to supplement my income. This shit is not cutting it at all.

How to enjoy your first ORGY❤

Orgies are intimidating, and you're definitely going to have a lot of, um, experiences the first time you go to one. Don't let that scare you off! Here are 10 ways to seem like sex parties are so old hat for you.

1. Get new underwear. Buy it, borrow it, or make it out of yarn and a clutch purse. You need to walk into that place feeling confident and every little bit helps — even the little bit that covers your littlest bits.

2. Do your research. Talk to people who have gone to the party before and ask specific questions. Scout it out online. In most metropolitan areas, there are sex parties for people who identify in many different ways. You might have to discuss something you don't normally discuss with a friend, an acquaintance, your local sex shop employee, or even a stranger. But if you're not willing to put yourself out there with your clothes ON, a sex party probably is not going to work out for you.

How to have XXX in your parents house; SecretlyπŸ˜€

What's the need? You ask, but then, If you're spending the holidays with a significant other, that's going to mean a long trip to someone's parents' house.😊

Or maybe Introduction things..

 You'll probably stay overnight, probably in a twin bed or on a futon and, for a variety of reasons that you'll regret after your parents give you a shameful look the next morning, you'll probably try to have sex. Remember that this people imagine the both of you are "Virgins"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and don't expect anything to happen.

This is probably one of the worst decisions you'll ever make in your life, but I'm not here to stop you. Instead, here's how to do it right:

signs a relationship won't last very long (Part 2)

9. More often than not, a Saturday night out with friends sounds way better than a Saturday night date. (This is bad).

By no means should you spend every waking moment with a partner — your friends will hate you for this, and they very well should. But you should obviously want to spend some alone time with whoever you're dating! And if that's not the case, why are you with them at all?

10. You log more hours on the couch watching TV than you do talking or doing real activities together.

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Signs a relationship wont last very long( Part 1 )

Part 1
It's not the best idea to be constantly searching for warning signs in every relationship. If you're always looking for trouble, nothing is ever going to actually work out.
Still, once you've been dating long enough, it starts to get easier to notice the tiny flags that typically mean a relationship just isn't built to last.
Here are 14 signs a relationship is probably doomed, inspired by a recent Ask Reddit thread that asked people to spill the things they see as dating death sentences.

1. You're trying to change each other.

People can change, but it takes time, and it doesn't work if someone is trying to force it. If you catch yourself thinking, This person would be perfect if only [insert thing here], you're probably less happy than you think you are.

Why do men cheat?


Aside being total ass holes for cheating on their beloved wives.. Or gyal friends, here are some other reasons why they fuck up..and downπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (pun intended).

1. To avoid intimacy: That feeling of absolute inticimacy and emotional attachment that makes them vulnerable might want to be avoided. So they distance themselves by cheating. They feel it wouldn't make them too emotionally attached and vulnerable. I think it just ends up hurting them both because if you're already thinking of not becoming "emotionally attached", You're attached already.

2. They crave intimacy: On the flip side, some men search for that absolute connection outside their relationship. They need a gap to be filled and find for it elsewhere. Some couples might drift apart due to lack of communication and intimacy.

The janitor 2

Since I met Bridget at her work place, I have not since then seen her physically; the old cargo will not let me come near her house or her work place for reasons I do not know.
Each time we talk on phone and I brought the matter up, she waved it off by promising to send money which she does anyway. Aside money though, I want fuck this woman. I want to add it to my resume that I have been there and done that!
My turn on levitated when I got to know she is also from Edo, I  haven't gotten an Edo pussy in a long time, and the fact that this woman stood naked in front of my eyes is making me wanna get naked with her.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Is she a virgin? part 2

4. The anal incubator (backdoor gyals)

Believe it or not, there are gals out there who will let you get into their anal canals, but will still aver that they are virgins. Carnal desires are natural, but anal sex, as well as oral sex (despite what Clinton says), has the word "sex" attached to it because that's exactly what it is. And once you have sex; any type- even oral, you are no longer a virgin. Case closed.

Imagine you going doggie on your "virgin" wife and you see that her anus is wide and fistable; But you met her hymen intact. Enjoy, shebi it's hymen you want to chop.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
So these women are under the illusion that as long as their vaginas remain untouched by the almighty penis, they can still claim to be pure. Pure crud, that is. And if men seem to think that this is a viable argument, then they're just horny and have no qualms about taking the back way in.😧

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

What Condom Size Do I need?

Knowing your condom size can make a huge difference when using condoms. Condoms that are too big can slip off and ones that are too tight can break -- and you don't want to find yourself in either of these situations. If you are complaining about condoms, chances are, you are not using the correct condom size. When it comes to condoms, one size definitely does not fit all. And I'm sure we don't know thatπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Determining Your Condom Size:
There are just a few easy steps you need to take, and then you will know what condom size you need.
Because condom sizes are listed by width and length, you will need to figure out your penis size.

Is she a virgin? Part 1

Is she a virgin?

And incase you don't know; there are different levels of virginity! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚There's the "never been touched" virgin and the "I've been poked everywhere but there" virgin. Perhaps you've been lucky enough to have busted a cherry or two in your day, or maybe you hooked up with a virgin who would basically do everything but have vaginal intercourse with you.
Whatever the case, today's article is dedicated to uncovering the counterfeit virgins.


1. extra, extra virgin
Virgin in the dictionary is defined as, "being in a pure or natural state; unsullied. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored." Nowadays it seems that the only virgins left are our spayed and neutered domestic pets, and even they still get excited around the opposite sex.
But nevertheless, if you do happen to come across a unicorn, I mean a virgin, and she has never gone beyond kissing a man, let alone performed any oral ordeals, then she is a genuine, honest to goodness virgin. Now, whether or not you have the patience to wait around until she's ready to let you play around her privates with your slinky is a whole other matter altogether.

The naughty girl


Titiloye

What the fuck?! I should have heeded to my father's warnings! But no, I called his bluff as usual. Turned out this wasn't a "warning" as usual. He banned me from his house and didn't even listen to my mother's pleading. I'm sure she's in support, but was just doing eye service for me. She doesn't like sharing and husband and one more child out of the house is a joy for her. Pssh.

How to spot a cheater before starting a relationship

 1. Does He Look Like a Cheater?

This question may sound overly simplistic, but our first impressions can be very accurate and informative, even when based on limited information. Research shows that women can accurately detect whether men have been unfaithful in the past just by looking at facial photographs.

Rhodes and colleagues (2012) asked men and women to judge facial photographs of members of the other sex and to rate the likelihood that the targets in those photographs had been unfaithful in the past. They also collected self-reported data from the people who appeared in the photographs about their previous relationship history. Women could accurately detect which men had reported being unfaithful in the past, using men's masculinity as a cue to past infidelity.

Things to know before you Ride a BIG D

This is funny yeah? But a lot of women tend to freak out at the thought of a huge πŸ†. Well never fear; You shall handle it!

1. Don't worry; It will fit. Shebi you can push a baby out? A big πŸ† is definitely no problem. Just take it slowly.. It will enter. Just make sure you're well wet.

The Janitor 1



JANITOR
There is an apocryphal that Abuja is the city only for the rich, it is arguable and I cannot tell you for sure, but there is ostentatious display of wealth and gunning usage of power in the relatively small northern state. It is the first state in the county i.e in Abuja; you don't talk to anybody just anyhow because you don't know who they are or who they roll with, my father long gave me that orientation before his demise.

He moved to Abuja and worked there while we stayed at Benin our hometown. He was not very educated but you won't want to call him an illiterate; real life and hardship was the education my father got. He was a hustler and every one of us in the family respected that; he was not so rich but he made sure we had the basic necessity in complementary supply.

Monday, 6 March 2017

NO TITLE 1


It's ur lips i'll forever crave.
And your medusa gaze would not only turn me into stone, it will also turn me to your slave.
I always was shy to say hi, i'd admit i was never that brave.
But all my life i've been fantasizing bout you and how we were gonna swim against the tides...riding that wave.
Your voice is in my head and it's too loud.

Steps for a better porn watching experience

Loool. You must be very curious to know right? Well.. Watching porn is not all about seeing and pressing play.. Why not go ahead to add spice and enjoy the experience better?

Make your porn watching a memorable oneπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Step 1: Put on the right outfit; Something that wouldn't interfere with your business.. Incase you want to...

Step 2: Select your tool; dildos? Lube? Vibrators? Have them handy so you wouldn't have to rush in and out and interrupt your fun in between.

To my Unborn Child


TO MY UNBORN CHILD and your siblings that didn't get past the stage of pleasure and sweat,
I am sorry I haven't found mummy yet!

Many had cum and a few didn't even sleep, but your memory I had forgone after those who did took that sip..

Funny as it may seem, I miss u, not just u, the list is very long and names too many..
But am Nigerian and we miss a lot of things.. Oh! You dunno Aiyegbeni..

Blame a whole lot on me.. But blame the rest on those that rode on me, and underneath, and side ways, those dat stood, even those dat refused to be pulled...
We are all in this together!!.


The Change 3


Part 3
Demona
Dear diary,

I sat in the doctors office with sadness my total aura. The test results he presented me just confirmed what is deep in my heart.."Your have cancer of the liver. Have you ever had cancer before?" He looked at me with sympathy and said.."we need to begin your therapy immediately. You have a 50:50 chance. Thank God we got to know quickly.." He said some other things I didn't catch. I'm so pained. Again? Twice in a lifetime? How hard would I battle this time? What about sithe? I can't put him through all this. This happened just before our wedding. He's gone through a lot for me and the best thing is just to break up with him, pack out and start my therapy.

Steps to have the perfect One night Stand

10. Prep for success; Imagine you got the woman already!
-Tidy up your place, clean up and sort your shit!
- Fuel the fire of your "stand".. Get the Music, Lube, Condom and all ready!

9. Foreplay first; Foreplay is very important to get you both in the mood!
-Start making out early; as soon as you can (Afterall, its a banging thing)
- kiss her passionately
-Complement her; Make her fall in the ZoneπŸ˜‚
- Caress and Undress baba; don't rush- You got all Night.

Sunday, 5 March 2017

TOO EARLY TO SAY GOODBYE? (LI-V-E)

Life ebbs away stealthy as every second counts.
The first death occurs as soon as the heart is filled to the brim with regret.
Then the days are dark and grim.
The odds of recovery are anorexic slim.
Sing me a song, let the hymns of David be on a loop.
Gather 'round, listen and absorb... but be wise this ain't no gossip nor juicy scoop.
If i could do it all from the beginning, i probably wouldn't change none of it.
But that doesn't mean the heart doesn't ponder and question what if?
"What if? "...The question is a weight on my head, hence the pain in my shoulders and neck.
Gone are the days tears accompanied life's lessons
.

DUSK (LI-V-E)

As dusk comes, i meditate on truth and legacy.
Have i said any and what would be mine.
Before i go, would i leave a stamp in time?
I want to create something evergreen, roll it into a joint.
Light, puff and pass it from one generation to another.
Let the phrase on every lip be 'FIIDI the L-E-G-E-N-D.
And like my lord Jesus, my glory might have no E-N-D.
Hence the youth should feed off my drive... Let my words forever fuel their hunger.
For i shall be hailed as the seasoned veteran, of sorts i could be called Onga.
It's a dark world, i only see pitch black.

TEENS (LI-V-E)

I've been with so many, but it's only because i try to find you in them.
Whistling Davido's one of a kind, but in reality you mirror two kinds.
A part of you is fierce, assertive and diva-esque.
The other is mellow, soft and soothing like the oceans' breeze
You always gave me that brain freeze.
Like i had OD'ed on some "coldstone cream".
And you gave me frostbite too, saved only by your warmth... damn you was hot as steam.
You and I were a team, smashing all in our way.
But then we were young, wild and foolish.

FIRST STEPS (LI-V-E)

It's still early, but I'm already contemplating how i wanna crawl, walk and jump.
I got targets already, and i wanna hit them with aplomb.
Young wild and free, throw caution to the wind and detonate like a nuclear bomb.
Mirinda days, mixing the beefie with the buns.
Throwback to highschool, i already knew i had puns.
Mixing the story telling with a beautifully arranged rhyme scheme.
And i didn't start off alone, i did it with a tight team.
So shoutout to D2, right from JS2 i knew that we were meant 2...

BORN (LI-V-E)

I've got a story for y'all.
This is not a synopsis, for there are a thousand stories hung to each word written.
But don't get smitten either, this is not an attempt to take you to a warm place or have you fall in love with the content.
This rather is the birth of the words of the God sent.
So inhale deep like you're trying to figure out God's scent.
This is the origin, the very first stride.
Brought into a world filled with darkness.
Born a star, a shining light.

The Inner Workings of a Nymphomaniac



THE INNER WORKINGS OF A NYMPHOMANIAC

She had come a long way since. Culture and society had held her back.
At least they thought so. And she did too. For a time.
That's when she found out. A mistake that was threatening to change her life forever. For better or for worse. She would come to the conclusion after the next thousand escapades at least. That's how she felt at the moment.

A mistake. An honest mistake. Bathing herself while staying with grandma. She was the only family after the accident. She bathed. And lathered. And scrubbed. Foam and suds everywhere. Bubbles of different shapes and temperaments afloat. That's when it happened. She can never forget the colour. Pale green. Or was it blue? She'd have to remember later. But she swore she'd never forget. The bar of soap was in her grasp as she washed her sacred place. Not sacred anymore, that's for sure!

Weird facts you didn't know about penises!

This facts are very weird!

1. Napoleon’s Penis
This one’s a real doozy. When Napoleon Bonaparte died, apparently his doctor cut off his penis for the autopsy. In 1977, the penis was eventually sold for a whopping $2,900 (this feels cheap?) to a urologist in New Jersey and was apparently 1.5 inches at the time it was sold.

The Change 2


Demona
Dear diary..

Its so hard to believe anyone would take interest in me. And want to be my friend. I can't help but suspect that he has an ulterior motive. I saw the look of shock on his face when I told him I'm dumb.

I spoke last in basic school. I stopped trying to speak to anybody. It was a totally wasted effort. I kept to myself and withdrew.. Then gradually, i stopped bothering to talk. It's pointless. Ben did all he could to make me talk, but i just closed up. I pour all my emotions into my songwriting.

"Wow.. I wondered at your silence.." He sat down and we began to talk. Or should I say, he talked and I wrote. We discussed a lot and discovered we have a lot in common, except Music. I don't ever listen to music. It torments me. He told me he'd induct me into music and he made me smile. I was shocked. I smiled.. He asked me why I looked so shocked and I told him I hadn't smiled in a long time.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

The Nastiest Thing You Are Willing To Do In Bed, Based On Your Zodiac Sign (ClimaXXX Spice)


I wonder how true this is..😍

Aries
(March 21st to April 19th)
Aries are known for their love of adventure and willingness to try new things. So in bed, pretty much everything is on the menu. The only hard and fast line for an Aries is monotony. If you want to be a dead fish or do the same thing over and over, find a different partner.

Taurus
(April 20th to May 21st)
A Taurus will do a lot of freaky things in bed, but they have to be the one to suggest it. Good luck getting them to try something if it was your idea first. The only hard and fast rule they have is they have to feel like they’re in charge.

Different type of Condoms! (ClimaXXX Spice)

Have you ever thought about the condom types available?!

Do we ever check the labels of condoms before we buy them? The choice awards for Nigerian's are Gold circle, Kiss and DurexπŸ˜‚
Nothing adventurous about we shopping for condoms; we just buy, sneak it and use! There are Wide varieties of condoms and next time you go shopping for condoms; take time to relax, check around and have fun doing it..

1. Glow in the dark condoms


Glow-in-the-dark condoms are a dope condom type. They are usually non-toxic and will glow after about 30 seconds of exposure to ordinary light (be sure to expose the condom to the light before putting it on).
Glow-in-the-dark condom tend to be made of three layers. The inner and the outer layer consist of regular latex while the third layer contains a safe pigment that begins to glow and is sealed between the two latex layers. This type of condom makes for a fun surprise.

2. Flavoured condoms

The change 1

Dear Diary,
Demona

I've been crazily frail all my life.. I'm small and timid and almost invisible. I wish I can just disappear. I mean nothing to nobody. My mom died during my birth and my father always blamed me for her death. He was extremely devastated by her death.. She was his soul mate. I'd always wished i was never born. A life like this is empty and useless. The only succour in the house is my brother. Not that he's nice to me or anything.. But, at least he doesn't gaze at me with disdain like my father. Also, the click on the deep level. He's a song writer and I provide most of the inspiration for the songs he writes.

Friday, 3 March 2017

Action in calabar 3


Fred
Damn, I never thought I will see that face again, and also in the most compromising position there is. I struggled really hard to get through the class, how much damage will this girl cause me?

both on land and in the air.. she was all up in my face in the class, asking very technical and sensitive questions. I wish those were coming from anybody except her. She displayed intelligence in the class and I must confess that she is good. with the british accent in the air, everyone had a good day except me!