Wednesday, 19 April 2017
The Litigation 1
When I read in the news of celebrity couple that got divorced and stated the reason as growing apart or irreconcilable differences; I use to think they were just shallow, petty and power intoxicated. Why would you go through all the bother? I thought.
My marriage at this point has gotten to what many people will call a "dead end," worse than the couples I get disgusted about.
My husband was the first and only man I know intimately, and I have known him for approximately half of my life. I had no ex and he's the only relationship experience that I have.
We met when I was sixteen; I remember that very hot afternoon and it was my birthday. We were on the queue to register our courses at the prestigious university of Lagos and we were both law students.
He is a tall, very fair and athletic dude, even my naive eyes saw him sexily. Our conversation started when he lent me his pen and I forgot to return it.
My forgetting it was a plan of his; as he made this known to me later. He rushed after me and using his crooked way, I was swept away..
He began to converse with me, and we discussed at length. Too much talk to acquaintance, he got my number afterward, and he asked for my name so he'd save it.
"Emilomo Okah" I said with a mature smile, he thanked me but and also mentioned his name "Onoriode Osayande." That was the tipping point in both our lives.
Mrs Osayande was more likely to be my moniker in 300L; when Onoriode after the religious years we spent together, took our game to the next level. Those were the most fairy tale worthy days of my life.
He proposed to me, and I said yes instantly, nothing within me protested against my swift reply. We kissed passionately and we went on a wild dating spree in celebration.
Before this, I'd done quite a lot with Ono. We were wild and crazy. He was my first and everything, the only dick my pussy knows was his, and we've done it all! There were times we did everything we saw in the pornographic movies. We fucked every which way and how.
He was a very good person and countless times have he made me feel very much safe with him. I was one of his top priorities, he made decisions with me strongly in consideration. He was the brain behind my masters program abroad, and we did every and any thing together.
Before we graduated, I can say I know 70% of his family members, and I am talking extended; it is as a result of the numerous family functions I have attended with him.
I was already part of the house and Yes; dating Ono opened a lot of doors for me, he was the ladder. Now, don't get me wrong- I will eventually get to this point without him, but definitely not this fast. He took real care of me.
I use to worship those moments until recently; it looks now like its a part of my life I cannot wait to forget! We just went cold on each other, we now bore each other, and we hardly talk.
The only time we run an hour conversation is when we argue, as it is now customary, Our first Daughter even picked lines from our argument which she used in a drama she performed in school!
I just grew this irritation for the whole thing. Knowing each other for six years and married for ten years, I cannot point out exactly where Ono went wrong but I am just angry; his presence spites me and the father of my three children is just to me- a roommate. I can't stand him any longer.
I just feel there is something out there for me that dating and marrying Ono disturbed! I yearn for something else! He had confronted me in the past pleading to know where and how he had offended me, and I gave him the same reply for the three confrontations - the reply was silence.
I have love for him in my heart but I cannot find it. It should be there in my heart. Somewhere. I explained to my mother, she went spiritual on me by saying its some spiritual forces. I swerved that one.
I told my friend Ella and she aver that it is a phase and it will pass, I should just look for what to fight for in the marriage. That was last year and until now, I still haven't find what to fight for. I am tired of myself, Is there any name for this feeling? Boredom maybe
I arranged for a divorce recently, I know this will break Ono but I couldnt care less; and it hurts me that I feel this way! I kept this lowkey, no friend or family interference.
I want nobody to try and talk me out of it. I kept the documents on his desk in the study, a place I know he will spend long hours. I just pray he signs this with less drama, I am not sure I won't regret it but I want it to happen anyway.
I am not that type of man that fancy telling my plights to anyone; let alone at a cost, but I found myself doing this in the bid to save my marriage or at least know where I have failed as a husband.
The blustering tantrum of my wife have emasculated me to atoms, as she just grew out of love. My plight is if this comes to an end; which is almost imminent, I don't know where to start from, and I don't even know how to talk to ladies anymore.
I have been sixteen years out of the game, I wasn't ever in the game! The very first girl I spoke to is the woman I married, I am a father of three kids, will another woman ever be a priority?
These among other reasons is why I went to see a relationship specialist. I was expecting that the ostentatiously described guru will precisely point out to me the problem of my marriage, but it was something like a bizzare date where I just squandered fifty thousand Naira.
All he did was talk, his elaborate oral display further confused me, I took my leave in a angry but very polite manner, he can keep the money while I keep my temper.
I Headed home with the mindset of asking my wife again what the problem was, and I have promised myself that this time; I won't loose my cool.
I will try to be as receptive as God. I bought some gifts I know my wife use to like so as to lighten things up. On getting home, I couldn't find her; which is unusal.
I asked the maid, she simply gave me that African hand description of ignorance. I trudged up the staircase as I tried to call her, her phone was ringing in the room of which she is not in.
Not knowing what to do, I went into my best room in the house, the study. I read when I am sad, and it is my way of handling pain. I sat and demanded the maid to make me some tea.
While waiting for my tea, I saw a brown envelope which I knew was not mine, I went through it and my nightmare began!
A divorce? I cried like a child deprived of food. I love this woman, I love our life and I love what we have built! How did we ever get to this point!?
I called my friend and I'm in the most sober mood ever. I am sure he's never heard this from me. I cried my heart out to him, and I waited eagerly for my wife to arrive, I stare at the gate from the balcony at every sound I heard. I cried in between and this time very loudly.
It is 3am and my wife is not back, I gave up on her arrival, went to take my shower and had surprisingly a sound sleep.
I woke in the tired time of the morning, I heard noise from the private kitchen close to the room and it was my wife, I walked in greeting her, she replied very reluctantly.
I asked her where she was all night, "church" she said, the scourge of my heartbreak seem unbothered about the gravery of the worry she gave me.
I kept calm still and asked why she didn't take her phone, "I was in church Ono" - I got a glimpse of her face and I saw nothing! For the first time in my life, I understood that moment that I and Emilomo is done.
I went about my morning routine, and made tea for myself. I stared at the divorce documents using my professional suaveness to peruse it, after three cups of tea and hard reading; I signed the documents and left for work.
That Ono signed the documents with no drama spook me a little, the woman in me was aroused and reality seem to be slapping me in the face, reality that I called for! Didn't he care?
It begin to dawn on me what I am prone to loose in this course, things I did not consider properly especially if Ono wants to really fight in the court.
He is no small meat in the world of litigation and he knows well his onions, he is from a family that has produced twenty six senior advocates. I think I am scared but still egoistic.
What is wrong with me? - I read again the documents as I drank the remainder of the sweet tea my soon to be ex-husband made.
No wonder he is lazy in bed recently, his tea is too sweet. Amid all our anger, argument and angst; we still have sex.
I don't know how I do it, I am still yet to find the nerve to say no to him, as he still fucks me at his will. It is just weird now because it is quiet, and the decorum in our sex will scare you, almost like it is just a traditional rite.
Without any word; he pounces on me, does his thing and gets off me. It irritates me to think about it so I will stop there.
Remembering our sex; I was charged, so I called my lawyer who is my friend and that of Ono too - to communicate the development with her. I was informed that she is out of the country for her vacation, and she never mentioned that to me.
I think its her way of excusing herself from being an aiding tool to a destruction of a marriage she experienced and even facilitated. I think I kept her in a very awkward situation; as she was our coursemate and friend. She was my chief bride's maid; and I think her feelings silenced her professionalism!
She's just being conscientious, which I can relate with. She'd put in place another option, as she transferred me to a friend of hers, Alex Alao. She said he is as good as she is and will give me a lot of help.
She again pleaded that I give it another second thought. I called Alex immediately after I got off the phone with my friend, and the very baritone voice came through my speakers.
He mentioned that he'd been waiting for my call, and he was quite nice on the phone, he sounded in no way pitiful which was the vibe I needed.
He mentioned that he'd be busy the rest of the week and since I want it to end quick, may be we should fix a time in the closest frame.
I was finding words when he suggested he'd come to my house, this is ridiculous - "except maybe if you will wait till next week" he added, I hastily agreed, gave him the address and cut the call.
Everything was wrong with what I did, it is not even morally sound! This is going too fast for me to comprehend!
I thought again and decided to call him back to cancel and re fix the meeting when I heard a horn at the gate. To my surprise; it was Alex.
I greeted him from the balcony, he reciprocated. I was on my night gown, and I didn't feel the need to change anymore since he had seen me in it. I went down to meet him and he first hugged me.
The hug was warm and kind of genuine, it was his way of apologizing for the about to be done deed. I was reluctant but hey! I relished in the hug, the grabs of this man reminds me of life!
He was putting on a partially buttoned white well starched shirt and black trouser, his shirt was folded at the arms and I saw a peek of tattoos- which melted my heart. A lawyer with a tat? I wondered. He looked so corporate and rugged all at once.
I struggled with composure and asked him to sit, "I am famished, do you have food?" he asked. He's so direct, I thought. I replied with a no and he decided to order some food.
He called for take out and asked if I am interested, I am yet to reply when he ordered mine too, its some Chinese morning oat meal, what a friendly bully he is.
He brought out his copy of the documents and began work, It was impressive and he'd done his home work. I miss when Ono was like him; young and gunning to get it, since Ono hit his notch, he just became all cold.
Alex explained how we can protect my interest even as the caller of the divorce, he threw some light jokes in between which made more comfortable. I was staring lustfully at this fox, our meal came in and we were having breakfast together.
The way he devoured the meal showed how hungry he was. He maintained eye contact with me while licking his perfect lips and I burst with sizzling attraction.