Monday, 6 March 2017
The Change 3
I sat in the doctors office with sadness my total aura. The test results he presented me just confirmed what is deep in my heart.."Your have cancer of the liver. Have you ever had cancer before?" He looked at me with sympathy and said.."we need to begin your therapy immediately. You have a 50:50 chance. Thank God we got to know quickly.." He said some other things I didn't catch. I'm so pained. Again? Twice in a lifetime? How hard would I battle this time? What about sithe? I can't put him through all this. This happened just before our wedding. He's gone through a lot for me and the best thing is just to break up with him, pack out and start my therapy.
I began to misbehave. I saw how deep I affected him but I hardened my heart. I want him to hate me so that when I comes home and find me gone, he'd be relieved. I love him too much. Tears streamed out from my heart and soul. He's been trying so hard to reach out to me; but when i want to cave I'd remember and say hurtful things to him.
I began my therapy and slowly but surely my hair began to fall off. I lost a lot of weight; but still my plan backfired. He was always with me through my bouts of vomiting and fever- reactions to the drugs. I still didn't tell him what was going on.
She's become so thin. Her hair; lustrous and thick became faded and lifeless. She had no appetite and hardly ate. I began to suspect but I needed confirmation. I got angry and ransacked her room but found nothing. I then pretended to go the studio; but infact wanted to tail her. She thought I'd left the house when she drove out. I tailed her and saw her park in front of an hospital. I followed her in; and she looked so tired and broken. I wish i can hold her.
She emerged after sometime from the pharmacy section. She went out and I stood up and followed her outside. She didn't even notice anything. I bumped into her from behind and grabbed the bag from her. She was shocked and tried to scream. She looked up and saw that it was me and she kept shut, she looks so guilty. I looked at her in pure anger and poured the contents of the bag on her boot and I saw the prescription sheet. For liver cancer. "I..caa..n explain... I'm soo..ry..she heaved. I carried her and kissed her deeply.
This woman! She's been trying to protect me?!..what nonsense."I love you Mona, and the fact that you think it would lessen with cancer hurts me deeply. I want to be here for you. You're my perfection. I want to do this with you. You're Mine." She started crying.. "And we are getting married now. Right now." I called for her car to be towed to a nearby garage. We'd pick it up later.
I drove us to a nearby courtroom and paid an exorbitant amount to get us married immediately. Then I drove us to a priest at a church and got us married again. I married her twice for better effect.
We got back home and I fed her and took care of her. After the weddings, her demeanor changed and she became almost instantly cheery and better. We flew out to London for our honey moon and I made love to her for the first time. My mona. She was a virgin and I didn't touch her throughout our courtship. It was the most sexy night of my life. Or should I say morning? We got to london and we were so exhausted and slept for 24hours straight. We had sex the next morning.
I gently kissed her breasts and made her moan.. I gently licked down her body and made her scream for me. I kissed her folds and ate her up. She was wet with insane desire. I couldn't hold back again and gently lined me up to her.. I pushed inside and insane wetness and tightness gripped me. I lost all control and made love to her like a rabid man. I was consumed in her flame. We burned out together. I was caught up in the throes of fucking her and died in happiness.
We stayed back in london and I took her to the best Oncologist I was referred to and we began the therapy together. We went through the up and downs together. The sex was fucking insane. I use to make gentle love to her but she began to ask for more.
She wanted me to bang her any which way and I obliged fully. We had a crazy time. From the hospital; I'd take her to different places and she experienced life fully. We go out everyday to distract her from the pain coming from the side effects of the therapy and we rest in the evenings when she couldn't bear to go out. We went back to the hospital for tests and check ups and we found out she was pregnant.
We became insane with happiness. We managed the cancer and pregnancy with utmost directions from the team of Doctors on her case. It was a stressful and painful period; but my mona managed the discomfort like a Pro. Drugs that could affect the foetus was not used and I totally retired from music to focus on my woman totally. I'm wealthy enough for 3 lifetimes; money isn't a problem.
We struggled with her mood swings, side effects to the drugs and every shitty thing that occurred. We didn't scan; we wanted to be surprised by the sex of the baby. I kept up frequent contact with Ben and he was very happy to be an expecting uncle. Her father was indifferent as usual.
I'm extremely happy to carry sithes' baby. It's the current highlight of my life. My battle with cancer is ravaging me; but still, I'm coping with it all. I thank God everyday for experiencing sithe in my life. It didn't have to be like this. I could have just died and ceased to exist. But sithe saved me. From a life of rejection and dejection.
He made me know that I'm not responsible for my mother's death and I didn't deserve all the unfair treatment I was given. He repaired me bit by bit until I became whole. I'm lost without him. I am nothing without him.
I'm still awed at how I got the attention of such a man. It's not been easy; but having him is all I need.
Her contractions began and I rushed her to the hospital. I was informed that her body cannot bear the rigours of natural labour; as such a cesarean section will be performed. And yes, she's carrying twins.
I was stunned at the news and I'm so happy! I prayed intensively for her health and the babies. The operation was successful and she and the babies were fine. She gave birth to a Male and a female. Perfect blend of Us. They looked so small and perfect. I couldn't even see a difference in them.
She insisted on being discharged against medical advice and I asked her why, but she just smiled. We all went home and she was so tired. I hired 2 wet nurses to take care of each baby while Mona recuperated.
She died in my arms two days later. "You know I love you right? You know I love the 3 of you right?".. "Of course baby.. I know, and we love you too.." She smiled and went to sleep. I held her tight in my arms and went to sleep too. She was looked so peaceful. Her body was getting cold to the touch. I shook her and no reply. She's dead.
I didn't know she wanted to die at home. She held on for us. She was so weak. Turned out she had a hole in the heart and that was the actual secret she was keeping. She knew she was going to die; regardless.. And she tried her best to "protect me".
It was neither the cancer nor childbirth that killed her.
I was consumed by intense pain and desolation. My puzzle died. I'm incomplete. They say you only have one true love. She's mine. I blamed myself for everything. I wanted to commit suicide., but the thought of the kids held me back. I fell into depression and lashed out at everybody except my children. I treated them with firmness and love. They looked exactly like her. Both of them and I looked into their faces everyday in happiness. My Mona lives in them and I lived for that.
I get to see her everyday. My soul belongs to her. No one else can have it.
I loved my kids and became both their mother and father. I never remarried and I'm very grateful for the fact that Mona and I had the little time we had. I preached the gospel of Mona to them and they love their mother intensely. I wrote this story from a diary I found out she had.
After her death, the father became remorseful and I barred him from seeing my children. I didn't trust hi; I don't want him to infuse bitterness in them.
Ben was super supportive; and we lived.